Relationships Are Filled With Contracts

You may not realize it but when you decide to put yourself in a relationship, you are signing your name on an agreement contract that is sure to fuck your life over every time. Here is a llist of the 5 most common relationships and their contracts.

1. Marrige: Let's be real here, marrige is the most obvious contract but apparently we men don't prepare for this and sign anyway. the "Till death do we part" actually means that. Once you sleep with her sister, mom, cousin or whoever you're going to wish you were dead because you're going to be on the street once she takes all your money and stuff. Maybe she'll kill you and save time.

2. Pregnancy: Yes ladies we do have contracts for you too. When we get your sweet sweet selves pregnant that's our way of saying "I'd like to see you leave me now bitch." Basically you have a part of us with you forever now and there's nothing you can do about it. What the hell you going to do with our kid anyways? Abortion? Hell no. Adoption? Out of the question. We are insecure and we are going to make damn sure you can't leave us.

3. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: This might as well be a marrige. This is oh yeah I like you so I'm going to claim you as my own, so if you go and mess around with someone you're as dead as Fanny's Fried Chicken. I really don't care what you really want, cause I own you so I'm in control here. Sorry fellas, no ooky for you...

4. Friends With Benefits: Fuckbuddy, Smash partner, FWB, or whatever you call it is a hidden contract. Simply put in plain English it goes you look good, we are great friends but i have no interest in dating you. So lets have sex and and still be friends. Where's the contract right? Here's the catch you missed when you agreed to sleep with her. Oh you can only sleep with me I better not hear your banging other chicks.

5. The Hook-Up: This is too easy. The infamous hookup. The hey you're sexy, we are going to chill at my house, have sex, and then you are going to get the hell out of here got it? That's it get your fix and it's over. Oh and if you're lucky I might make you a regular...